Shame

I watched Super Soul Sunday today and the topic was shame. Secrecy and judgment allow shame to take over, but empathy dissolves shame. I had someone in my life at one point that I felt shame for, as in, I felt he should have shame, but I realized that this judgment wasn’t going to be helpful to him. Pushing someone into shame will only keep them down, and could make them feel like any shameful things they have done are “just how they are” and there is no coming back from it. It keeps people from growing. Or at least, it is an obstacle to growing. If the person is strong enough to not feel shame due to others’ judgment, then awesome. But I knew I felt judgment and I knew that wasn’t what he needed. He needed empathy and support to grow beyond things he had done. Just like anyone. There are just some things that are so hard to forgive and have empathy for. I am currently a true believer in empathy now. This all relates so well to how I was saying evil doesn’t exist, and how believing in evil keeps us in a mentality of being separate from one another.

Believing in evil only keeps the appearance of evil alive.

Believing in evil fuels the fear that creates what we have labeled as evil.

Shame is a part of all that. A part of the negativity. A soul-crushing, love-evaporating disease. I wonder if everyone has shame about something or another. Some deeply rooted belief that they are not worthy and they are bad. I’m thinking everyone does, but I haven’t thought it through enough at this point.

We all have to find our own shame and bring light and love to it. Once we are aware, we can fix it. I am aware of my shame. Now I can remind myself every day that there is no need for it; that it isn’t true. Shame is never true. NEVER. Your soul is pure, and despite any human imperfections you have, you can continue to grow. Nothing is “just the way you are”. NOTHING. You can always be anything you want to be. There is always redemption. There is always healing. You are always perfection deep down inside. That is already you. You just have to believe it. It’s the not believing it that causes all the issues. It’s the not believing it that manifests the exact behaviors and feelings that you are feeling shame about. Once you believe in yourself, all of that goes away. But you have to work at it. It goes away, just not overnight. But you see the light at the end of the tunnel. You see where you are headed. You can see the destination. Now you’ve just got to get there.

Believe in yourself and accept yourself, and any unworthiness you have will start to disappear. But you have to give the same love and acceptance to others, too. They need it just as much as you. They need it to believe in themselves such that they can overcome their unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. Don’t be an obstacle for those who are already down on their luck. Be supportive. Help them to be the best they can be. And if you can’t be that for them, graciously step out of their lives. That’s my advice.