Don't Idealize or Vilify

I think I’ve been idealizing my ex. Honestly, I needed to. I needed to be able to fix my fears and love the perfect soul that he is before I could begin putting the human components of reality back on. In my head, I picture a table setting, where the tablecloth doesn’t match the silverware, plates and centerpiece. You have to remove the silverware, plates and centerpiece in order to change the tablecloth. Once you’ve smoothed out that new tablecloth, then you can start placing the other items back on it. I feel like that’s a good picture of what I’ve been doing. I removed the tablecloth of fear, put down a tablecloth of love, and now I’m starting to place the items back on top.

I’ve been aware that all my confused feelings could have to do more with me and this journey than with him and his place in my life. I have old posts as proof! I’m very much aware that I need to settle all that before I can start thinking anything that affects the both of us. They are some pretty powerful emotions though.

I think that’s an important lesson for anyone. Sometimes the emotions you feel towards people have more to do with you than they do with the other person. Be careful not to vilify or idealize people. They are just human. Love and accept people, but know that everyone has their own problems. Everyone has fears and bad habits, and those are going to come out eventually. There is good and bad in everyone.