Opposites

Opposites attract.

We’ve all heard that. We’ve all seen it apply to people. We like and seek the qualities that are lacking within us.

That’s how I can be friends with people who are so social and come off so confident – because those are the qualities that are a little underdeveloped in me.

But the opposition that attracts also drives us nuts.

The trick is that the opposite can’t be completely opposite. It has to be just a tiny bit opposite. That way it encourages us to grow and to look at the world in another way without aggressively shoving it down our throats and dismissing our own view of the world – or being so passive that we view it as weakness. For example, an introvert and a slightly more extroverted person; an overly confident person and a slightly more humble person. These types of differences, when everyone has their own traits that are stronger and their own traits that are lacking, can really help two people grow, if you let it. The traits are close enough that a bridge can be comfortably formed between the lacking trait and a slightly stronger version.

Otherwise, we may cling even harder to our own trait. Neither person will be balanced. Each will demand that the other person join them, and it will be so far away from anything the other can comprehend that it may just be too much.

I guess some relationships actually thrive on that. One person is generous, caring and humble, while the other is blunt, merciless and selfish. I mean, I guess I can see how that might work out as a family unit, but the individuals involved must feel so alone and miserable. It would be very draining on the caring person to constantly swoop in to resolve conflict, and it would be so exhausting for the blunt person to stand up for something that the other would rather just let go. People think “that’s just how I am,” but honestly I don’t believe that. Not anymore – not something like that. That’s something you can work on. Someone who is too passive can learn that their own opinions can be very valuable, and to stand up for themselves and share their gifts with the world. Stop denying the world your gifts! While an aggressive person can be shown that it isn’t the end of the world if things happen a different way, and that they are attracting the energies they put out into the world. Stop putting off negative energies!

Opposites attract because personal balance is being sought by everyone. The problem is that you can’t find balance within yourself that way – you have to take tiny little steps towards balance. Each relationship must bring you closer. Don’t throw yourself in the deep end. The opposition in the other person will require you to stay the same such that the balance in the relationship remains. If the other person is unwilling to work on themselves, you will be stuck. That’s just my opinion.

Work on the balance within yourself. Notice qualities that you like in others, and see if it is something you lack that you can work on. Give yourself some baby steps. You can do it!