Enough with the Stereotypes!

Disclaimer: There are at least two sides to every story. What I'm about to say is one view. I have multiple views in my head at any given time. I just encountered a situation where this view was relevant and on my mind. Whichever view is lacking in representation I generally harp on. I demand fairness. I’m also using this blog as an outlet today, since I knew it was inappropriate to say a lot of this in-the-moment. Sorry if I offend anyone. This was meant to defend, not to offend, but sometimes the line is blurry.

Here’s the problem with people. They project and believe all these stereotypes. If you believe people with money are horrible and don't know the value of money, then you yourself clearly wouldn't want to have money, right? You don't want to be a horrible person, do you? Of course not. But the premise is wrong. It’s just a way to make you comfortable with having no money.

Everyone is an individual and they can use or abuse their gifts however they want. You can't lump people together. And really, someone with some extra money and maybe even time has the capacity to do more with it, don't they? I'm not saying they DO, I'm saying they CAN. Which means, if you stop being scared of being successful and start building up a savings account and pay off your debts, you could have some extra cash and do some good with it. Which would make you a good person and very informed about the value of money, if you chose to be that way, even though you "have money"!

I don't mean extra cash as in, "I've planned a budget down to the last penny that does not take into account any unforeseen problems, and I have $20 extra this month". I mean, "I have no debt or I have a substantial emergency fund, I don't spend money on things outside my means (aka I don't buy a car it will take me 20 years to pay off and I don't throw all my food money away on partying every weekend), my bills are all accounted for and I have 'extra' cash I can use to do some good in the world and even treat myself or my family to something special."

I feel like some people (my age) think having huge debt is a badge of honor. It's not. It’s not something to be embarrassed about, but it’s also not some grand merit that earns you a special sort of respect. Why is it that (some) people who spend money they don't have think they can manage money better than those who are saving money, carefully managing their money and don’t have some of those problems? How does that make any sense? How can you jump to that conclusion and dismiss someone as a human being based on your ill-informed stereotype, based on no information at all?

My biggest issue with that is the hypocrisy.

Okay, here is what I understand. I can understand their thoughts about themselves. Being really in debt means you have to be extremely careful and diligent in tracking your expenditures. You have to plan ahead to know that you will have enough money to eat every day until the next paycheck comes. Look for deals; study your bills and bank statements; etc. I understand that you HAVE to be good at managing finances when you live paycheck to paycheck.

Somehow some people think that those good money management skills and having a comfortable amount of money are mutually exclusive. What!?

Well I hope these kids remember that when they get a little older and start a family and suddenly have savings accounts. Because I’d sure love to remind them that now they can no longer declare that they know the value of money or have good management skills, simply because they “have money”.

You know what, if they are saying this now, I’ll bet you anything they WON’T manage their money once they have a little extra, and they will lose it all over again. They will constantly be broke simply because they do NOT, in fact, have good money management skills. I see it in them now. They plan out the important bills, and throw away the rest on junk and booze. So how can they even say that!?

Yes, this is a rant. Yes, there are many different people out there with many different sorts of problems, financial and otherwise. There are studies that show that what I’m saying is true. But you can’t always follow statistics. Statistics mean nothing to the individual. That’s how this mess got started in the first place. Stereotypes and statistics.

I just don’t see the need to attack people based on your own fears.

Ha. Funny I should say that. Don’t I do that when I call girls sluts? Yep.

Everyone has their own issues. Everyone has their own fears and their own ways it has infected their lives. I just get upset when people are blatantly rude and disrespectful. At least keep it to yourself. Be aware of where it is coming from within you, and at least don’t inflict your own misery on others. As much as your ego may try to convince you otherwise, bringing other people down will not build you up. It only blocks love and reinforces fear and insecurity in you and everyone around you.

I used this blog today as an outlet. I managed the situation fine. I did not say any of this. That would not have been appropriate. I simply addressed the inappropriate forum for the comments that set me off. Any further issues I have, which as you can see I have plenty, I know I have to process within myself. But this feeling has stayed with me for a day already. Some things still tick me off, despite all my progress. With all the issues I’ve dealt with lately, this one messed me up the most, because I know the line between what I can/should defend myself against and what I have to just take, accept and resolve internally. And I don’t like it. I can’t attack people for their opinions. I can’t change people’s views of the world. What I can do is work on myself to have it not upset me as much. That's all I can do.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

…I think I’m slowly starting to figure it out. Slowly.