Are your best years behind you?

I’m guessing I’m not the only one who looks back on her life and happens upon the thought that maybe the best of life is behind me. This far in my journey, I logically know this isn’t true – you create your own life and you have opportunities every single day to achieve the life you desire. But in those lonely hours late at night, looking over old pictures from years past, you think about how much you had, how much you didn’t even realize it, and wonder if you can ever feel that way again.

I’m at a point now, luckily, where I can acknowledge those feelings, feel them, but not believe them. Especially now – I’m making so much progress right now. I may not have the life I completely desire yet, but I can see all around me evidence of the changes occurring. Not because of “fate” or anything, but because of ME. I started believing in myself and I started making changes, and slowly I’m beginning to reap the benefits of those changes. I’m starting to catch up with old friends, putting myself in a position to go out and do things with people, and I’m trying to cut back on my pessimism and excuses.

If I’m out with people, and I start to feel old feelings of not feeling like I “click” with them or feel left out, I remind myself that this is just me perceiving things and taking them personally. Feeling victimized and shutting down isn’t going to fix the problem, it’s going to manifest the problem even more – find a way to jump back into the conversation, and more importantly, find a way to enjoy yourself. That energy makes all the difference. Look for GOOD things instead of bad. I’m working really hard at that.

It’s almost funny. I’m able to admit now just how emotionally fragile I am. It’s just that, in the past, my coping mechanism has been to shut people out and judge them. Make it their fault. That way I don’t have to feel bad or deal with it. But now I’m able to acknowledge these feelings, realize it isn’t reality, and look for what I can do to resolve the situation and change the energy. If you ask me, THAT is some emotional strength right there…

You always have to celebrate your little victories. Remember how far you’ve come, and not how far you have to go. Remember that you are ON YOUR WAY to the lie of your dreams, instead of looking back at old pictures wondering if your best times and relationships are behind you. One day I hope to look back on those pictures and smile with joy, instead of looking at them with despair and envy. But I KNOW I am on the right track – I am well on my way to having a full and happy life with lots of love.