Continuing to Herd My Thoughts

This whole herding my thoughts thing is a full-time job! My mind constantly tries to break out from the edges of the herd, and I have to come around and push it back into formation. Isn’t that the balance, though? You can’t deny that you have thoughts that are not aligned with Love (it happens – we are all human), but you can acknowledge it and try to adjust when it happens. So isn’t that exactly how it should be working? That’s pretty encouraging!

These feelings don’t feel good. I still think about things that do me no good and only make me upset. The difference is, now I can stop and say to myself, “Heal your thoughts. Heal your thoughts. Heal your thoughts,” and wrestle them back to a more accepting place, or else remind myself that I’m just creating and playing out scenarios that AREN’T ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

I hate it when I do that. I’ll get all worked up just playing out a scenario in my head, either one that I’ve decided happened to someone else in the past, or one that I think could happen in the future.

There have been times when I’m running late to work that I play out in my head how my co-worker makes a comment about it and I go off on him. So I get all angry and defensive and think of all the wonderful comebacks I can make, and I play the whole scene out, including his responses. I haven’t done that in a long time now, and I always knew it was silly, even though my mind just loved to do it.

Other times I’ll start filling in the blanks with an ex’s past. I’ll set up a scenario and decide what they are thinking, how they maneuver the situation, how they are feeling, etc. I’ll tell myself I’m playing it out exactly as if I were their own eyes and mind as they did it. And then I’ll start to get all upset and mad at them. For what? I have no idea if my version is even remotely correct. I do always jump to negative conclusions, as has been pointed out to me by many. I’ve gotten a lot better about it over the years, but only because after I make the jump, I guide myself back to reason. I’m hoping I can eventually get rid of those “plays” altogether. At the very least, only analyze what you know, and don’t create a whole story to go along with it and pretend like that is fact. Just ask questions, if necessary.

I’m hoping I’ve grown enough now for all of that to stay in the past. At the very least, I’d love to be able to stop it as it is starting, wait, and just handle whatever needs to be handled in the real world instead of prepping myself or reviewing footage from my imaginary spy-cam. So far I seem to be keeping everything pretty well under control.

Is there a theme in the thoughts you seem to leap to? Can you round up those thoughts and keep them under control? Can you at least remind yourself, as you’re thinking it, that these are all fantasy, and have no basis in reality?

Does anyone else even do this or is it just me? Ha!