Almost Able to Fall Behind Anger

This morning my alarm did not wake me up, and I naturally woke up at exactly the time I should have been leaving for work. I thought to myself, “It’s going to be one of THOSE days, huh?” This usually puts me in a panic and a bad mood for the entire day, on-edge and easily agitated by the inevitable stress of work. I did a really good job of managing the stress. I took some deep breaths and reminded myself that, although this wasn’t great, it wasn’t the end of the world.

They say that you know it’s your ego talking when you use terms like “always” and “never”. I had one of those moments. I got triggered at work, and had a little back-and-forth with my friend and co-worker. It was something that “always” happens and it did affect me, because I was putting my name and reputation on it. But after just a few angry exchanges I was able to take a deep breath, remind myself it wasn’t the end of the world, let the anger pass through me, and even though I was still shaking, we managed to salvage the exchange and do a very nice job of collaborating and getting both of our points heard and addressed.

Again, not great that I got triggered and expressed it, but I was almost immediately able to wrangle it in. I really think that next time I get triggered, I will be able to let it pass through me without NEEDING to express it externally (at work, at least). That’s the difference – you can’t suppress it if you NEED to express it outwardly. But my NEED for it is slowly disappearing. Slowly, but it is.

It really is ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE. I could continue to view all these annoying things as happening TO me, and fighting them, and allowing it to stress me out and challenge the direction I want the future to go in. Or, I could think of all of these as fun games for me to hone my skills in dealing with ridiculous and irritating situations. It’s an opportunity to experiment with different strategies and communication techniques. Neither of them is “right” or “wrong”. Either way, crap is going to happen. But I can choose how I view it and how I handle it. And chances are, things will go much better if I stay calm. When I get upset and angry, it triggers those around me, and then everyone is acting from that space. Sure, it isn’t fair that perhaps I’m the one who always has to cork my anger and change to a loving perspective. But it helps, it works, and who knows, maybe it will help others learn from my example. Not to mention, I’m sure that will help my reputation in the long run.

In the past, this day would have gone so much differently. But I chose to surrender. When I saw that I was getting worked up, I chose to just surrender my soul and not let my anger take over. Falling behind the wave instead of surfing the wave of anger. I just let it crash down on the shore and dissipate without throwing me along with it. And the day actually turned out fairly pleasant, given all the circumstances. Not a bad day.

Give it a try!