My Self Pep Talk

I need a mantra. Something to bring me back to balance. I know that I must first take care of myself, nourish myself and recharge myself such that I have something to give to others. I also know that, eventually, one probably can and should be able to do this quickly, if not instantaneously. It is simply refueling our soul with Love, and shining light on our darkness. I seem to need a full day disconnected from people, obligations and responsibilities to do this. During this time, I think, I ponder, I read and I believe in Love again. “Not mush; not romance,” as Maya Angelou says, but the actual uplifting and joyful feeling of actual Love that is within us all. During this break, I have to reignite my soul. I would hope that, eventually, I can do this without requiring a whole day, quiet and removed from people. That simply will not do in the future. If I ever have a husband or kids, I can’t check-out like that. But let’s not worry about that for now. There is no urgency here. Let’s just focus on how to recover quickly from the darkness.

I think I have all the tools available to me. I already believe. I already know. I simply have to remember, and fill my head with loving words and confidence, and remove the doubtful and negative words. Affirmations. They only work if you already believe them. They only work as reminders, not as lessons. Remember what I said in Consider Your Audience – you can’t just declare a conclusion and expect everyone to get onboard. You have to guide them to that conclusion. Then the cute little cliché actually means something and evokes a belief and an emotion. I’m beyond the point of needing guidance to some of these truths. I get it. I just need a reminder. It’s the perfect situation to use an affirmation or mantra. The question is, which ones would help me? What mantra would restore my faith in Love? Which affirmation would refill my soul such that I can continue to give to others?

I have some affirmations on my bathroom mirror. They are more fun than uplifting. They are uplifting, too, but not when I am in a pit of darkness. They are uplifting when I am at an average level of joy. Those affirmations are, “You deserve to be happy”, “You are a rock star”, “You are beautiful and confident”. But I need something more when I am running on less than empty.

Let’s see...

Your purpose is to bring love and self-awareness to all. By ‘purpose’ I don’t mean your ‘obligation’ – I mean your salvation. Not only does it help others, but it helps you. It fulfills you. It aligns with the meaning of life. It brings you happiness. It allows you to use the Love within yourself that is aching to get out.

Remember that you don’t HAVE to do ANYTHING. The world will not end. You will not be doomed. If you are late or have to cancel something, the only person painfully judging you is YOU. Perhaps don’t push yourself to help people so much. You know your limits. I know you want to be supportive and take on tasks to show that you are efficient and responsible, but you don’t have to take on the world. I know you argue in your head with those who try to bully you into making stressful scenarios work, but you don’t have to. It’s okay. The jerks in your head aren’t even real, and if you argue with people in real life about it, just remember that you don’t have to defend yourself. They don’t know you, and they just like to be right. You are not in the wrong. Just say “No” and move on. Don’t let them make you feel guilty. YOU know what happens when you push yourself too far. They don’t know or care. You can understand their points, but they don’t have a pulse on the situation. So ignore them. Don’t get frustrated with them. In their own backwards way, they were just trying to help. Appreciate their intentions, and move on. You are okay; you know what is best for you; you do NOT have to defend yourself. They are not entitled to an explanation that they can understand. That’s their problem, not yours.

If you are placed in that situation anyway, it is okay. You can adjust your schedule. Things can be adjusted. You are not damned if a sticky situation presents itself. You will be okay. Everyone else will be okay. What’s the worst that can happen? People are angry with you? You get fired? People don’t trust your commitment anymore? If you’re fired, you will get another job. Heck, you’ll even get some time to take a vacation and reflect on your life, which you haven’t EVER been able to do to the fullest extent. If you upset people, that can be fixed, and even if it can’t, some people will fall away from your life. That’s okay, too. It happens.

Really, you are just worried about your security and comfort zone being violated. You are worried about what people will think of you if you fail; your self-worth if you fail. You are worried about forgetting something or being unpleasant because you were worried about forgetting something. You’re getting yourself stuck in an infinite loop of negative feedback. It’s okay. You are SMART. Even if you forget something, you are SMART and you will figure out a solution on-the-spot. Do not underestimate yourself! You choose to over-prepare because you do not trust yourself. TRUST YOURSELF! You have an abundance of intelligence and intuition. You can handle yourself in any situation. You’ve got this. Be creative. And if other people start freaking out, remind them of the same thing. It will be fine. Stop doubting yourself long enough to open the window of your ideas so they can flow in and prove you wrong.

I know you’re busy. I know it’s overwhelming. I know a lot is being demanded of your soul, and you’re being asked to be chipper when you are running low on energy. But what gives you that energy? Love. Self-love. Giving love. When you take time to yourself, you aren’t physically refilling your soul with anything. You are just remembering. So remember. Right now. Dust off all the stress and negativity. It will be okay. You can trust yourself. Don’t be afraid of failure. Obstacles happen, that just gives you an opportunity to come up with yet another solution. There will never be a shortage of obstacles. But you can handle them as they come. Just be fully present. Worrying doesn’t help anything. Worrying is doubting yourself, and you don’t need to doubt yourself. You are perfect. You are smart and clever. You are intelligent and creative. Everyone knows it, so why are you doubting yourself? Believe in yourself. Love yourself. You’ve got this.

Whew! Alright, well next time I have a meltdown I will read this, and I’ll let you all know if it helps. Better yet, maybe I should read that every day….

What would you say to yourself in a pep-talk, manta or affirmation to center yourself when you get off-balance?