My Calling, Whispered

I’m feeling a deep pull in my soul towards my calling. I feel like I’m sorting things out; I’m on my way. Every time I think about it, and every time I get into a conversation with people about some of this stuff, it seems to become clearer.

I want to fix people. Not “fix” people, like there is something wrong with them, but just… free them. Open their eyes. Help them to free themselves from fear and its manifestations. And I want to do this for the people that wouldn’t be looking for this kind of guidance.

Everyone can benefit from this kind of stuff. Everyone is living some level of a fear-based life. But it’s the people who think The Daily Love is a bunch of crap that are who I want to reach. It’s the people that say “There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m fine,” that I want to reach. It’s the people who are committing crimes that I want to reach.

When I thought about that, it was almost terrifying. In the case of criminals, not only is that dangerous in its own right, but in order to get down in there and understand them, I’d have to immerse myself in concepts that I feel very uncomfortable with. I’d have to go there in my mind and “believe” all their fearful, hateful thoughts such that I could walk around in their mind and find all the hidden doorways and secret passages. Figure out where they are coming from such that I can shed light on their darkness.

It would take a whole lot of confidence to do that. So much confidence. Enough confidence to immerse myself in concepts that might even be negative towards me, and yet still not let it affect me. To be able to see their view and understand it, and yet not MYSELF start to believe it or feel threatened by it. That would take a whole lot of strength and confidence.

At the same time, if I was successful, it would be so exhilarating. To see people start to understand they don’t have to live in fear; they don’t have to constantly be in “fight or flight” mode. To see that deep down all they really wanted was to be loved and accepted, and all the bad things they’ve said and done were byproducts of their desperation to gain whatever it is they thought made them worthy in life or made them feel a cheap knock-off version of love and acceptance.

I’m not saying I would even know how to speak to those people right now. But seriously, haven’t I basically been doing that all my life? Just not with criminals or anything. But I’ve been preaching morals and love to people all my life, and I’ve changed a few lives already. Not even kidding. As I’ve said before, everyone always says, “You can’t change people,” and I knew that and never expected to, and yet I have made a difference in people’s lives. It isn’t literally about “fixing” people. It’s an easy general word to use here, but the meaning is all wrong. I just want to show people the truth. They can take from it what they want at their own pace. This stuff doesn’t happen overnight, it takes years. But I can help plant seeds and make a few subtle perspective alterations such that they get on the right track. I’ve DONE it.

So I don’t know if speeches, blogs, books or anything are in my future. I don’t know what route would work for this. I don’t know what advertising would work for this. I don’t even know what I’d be advertising at this point, exactly. It basically sounds like I want to be a therapist and life coach for people who don’t want it. What a great market!!!! I’ll get TONS of business!!! Hahaha… I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but that’s what I want to do. Help people. And not by force, though the way I worded it sounds that way – let me make that clear, I don’t want to force anyone to do anything against their will. It’s just that those are the people I want to somehow reach. You know what I mean?

The thing is, in the past, the old me… I didn’t believe there was any goodness in some people. If they were immoral, they were immoral, and there was nothing that could be done about it. People didn’t change. Today, I very much believe that they CAN, just not necessarily that they WILL. The stuff I’ve been reading explaining to me how essentially we are all the same spirit, just everything that has happened to us has been perceived in various ways that built up our fears and walls and causes us to end up different…. that showed me that there is hope inside each one of us. Not necessarily “hope”…. The most evil person in the world would probably never get turned around and changed into a Mother Teresa… but given just the right circumstances and collection of life experiences, just the right wording and examples, just the right depth of understanding… I think you could get them thinking and second guessing their hateful acts. When your eyes are correctly opened to these truths, it is undeniable. You see yourself, your feelings and your acts for what they are – outcries for love and acceptance. Some are just on a much bigger scale than others.

Many people disagree with me on this… Heck, if you asked me this time last year I’d completely disagree. But I so unequivocally believe it now. I believe it to be the truth.

I want to end this blog with one other thing that I debated whether or not I wanted to discuss. It’s necessary to track where I’m at, though. So, you know I’ve been reading the Bible. I love Jesus’ teachings. I currently don’t believe in God, but I have spent my life striving to live the kind of life Jesus preaches about. My friend actually told me that I live it better than anyone he knows, which I was incredibly flattered and honored to hear. I just had that darn issue with judging people who didn’t live that way, but I’m on track to learn acceptance. I see it now. I get it.

Anyways, here is what I wanted to say. I had a dream the other night that I was sleeping in my bed, and the window next to me blew in, and there was such a strong wind sending glass and leaves everywhere. I could barely see anything, but then this glowing scroll floated slowly towards me and stopped at my side for me to read. The next thing I remember is watching/reading cooking instructions, I think still in my bed with the scroll, and I heard some sort of recipe and could see hands breading and preparing meat to cook. I felt like that was a weird combination of messages and symbols. So I looked a lot of it up, and essentially the dream is expressing that I’m on the right track, I’m opening my eyes to new wisdom and insights, I’m getting to the crux of the matter and I am very near sorting out my calling.

Remember my dream about being tethered to a cloud? Which was letting me know that this new perspective will not leave me – I will not slip back into old perceptions – it’s done, this is how I think now.

It doesn’t even matter if any of these dreams “mean” anything. What matters is what I make of them and how it influences me from here on out. And both of these dreams were exactly what I needed to re-energize and push forward.

Are you listening to your soul? Can you feel your calling deep down inside you trying to show itself? Do you believe in yourself enough to seek it out and go for it? Are you brave enough to take a leap of faith and follow it? Am I?? Can we do it together?!? Haha!