What You See Is What You Get

I watched a show where the woman was told her husband was her charity case – he was her full time job. And I felt of sense of “Yep! Aint that the truth!” and then I heard myself and asked myself, why do I feel that way? Why am I so sexist against men in that way? It seems like every view and opinion we have in life is either based on something we experienced, or it is a mirror image of ourselves. So the question is, which is it? I seem to think men are selfish hedonists without any sense of morals or self-respect. I don’t see any of that as being a mirror image of me, though I gave it the chance of considering it. What I did realize is that it has been my experience thus far that I have had to teach men morals. All the guys I’ve dated have had one issue or another, and I’ve had to sit there and explain to them why it was wrong and the moral implications and think through their actions for them, whilst they sit there dumbfounded like “Oh… wow… I hadn’t thought of it that way… you’re right!” So naturally my opinion of men is that all of them need my guidance in this way, because those are the only types of men I’ve ever known. Ones that listen to me in those ways, and then others that are so far gone they won’t even listen to reason.

Now that I think about it, most women are probably the same way. I just don’t interact with many women.

The problem is that, as always, I am generalizing about all people (men, in this case) as being the same in one way or another. I know logically that is wrong. Not just morally, but logically. I know that you find what you are looking for, and if I am so set on men being a certain way, that’s all I’m going to find, whether it is there or not.

It’s just hard. It’s hard when every guy you’ve ever talked to has told you that all men are that way. But they can’t know that. Everyone is different. They are taking their perspective and analysis of what I am saying, and they are drawing conclusions based on their own beliefs and opinions. So it means NOTHING no matter how many people have that conversation with me, because, even then, it is only true for that exact number of conversations. You can’t extrapolate it out to the millions and billions of people alive in the world. There is some sort of balance that will eventually make sense and be acceptable to me. Not every guy is a “scumbag” even if those are the kinds of guys I have seen thus far. And what’s more, I’ve continued to see how everyone is the sum of their circumstances, and deep down they are a spirit that is just searching for love and acceptance, and in the worst cases, they are doing “whatever it takes” to get or feel it. I’m not at a point right now where I can understand, accept or justify how “men are”, but I know one day I will be able to. Right now I just have to focus on myself. I have to focus on accepting myself and loving myself and defending my own interests and beliefs, no matter the “cost” (aka judgment and rejection). Once I can love and accept myself, it will be MUCH easier to love and accept others. I have to get rid of my PROJECTIONS first, and then I can really analyze the situation for what it is.