Reach Out for What You Need

Deep, old wounds heal slowly. I had a situation that brought me back to one of my most painful wounds – feeling that what’s important to me had been blown off and dismissed by someone important to me. I was crushed. That feeling that I don’t matter and what I want is stupid flooded my heart. It’s funny how the smallest thing can bust that door wide open. My ego and my pride fought back, desperately trying to defend against an enemy that was really within ME.

And then I looked around. No one. No one knows and no one cares about what I just went through, and the pain I was feeling. I needed someone to care, and there was no one, as always.

As a self-aware person, I knew I had to take a deeper look at that fact. There are people I know that I could contact. In my mind, I’ve decided they don’t care, or they’ll make it worse, or they’ll see me as weak. But maybe they won’t. I’d decided everyone has failed me when I haven’t even given them a chance. By refusing to reach out for support, I’m just manifesting my own fear – that I am alone and have no one to be there for me. I can’t let fear of rejection, fear of pain or fear of a bruised ego keep me from seeking out what I need in a moment like that.

So I reached out. I asked couple people for support. It was wonderful. Just knowing people were listening and caring helped me feel tremendously better. I also stepped away from relying on a friend who really isn’t compatible with me on this matter. Now that I reached out to others, I didn’t feel the need to get mad at that person for failing me. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, right?

This was a big lesson for me. I put aside my pride and went out and asked for what I needed from a place of vulnerability, and I was given what I needed. I didn’t reach out for pity or for attention. I reached out for support. And I felt the overwhelming compassion and love, and I felt better. What a miraculous concept!

Are you asking for what you want?