Fantasy vs Reality

“It’s not real; it’s just tv.” Those words anger me so much. I’ll leave my arguments for the second section. For this first section, I want to actually agree with that statement. As always, this is my own take. I have not looked up the history of television or anything. Having said that… television is supposed to transport us out of reality. We mainly see people who are much more attractive than most people and are made-up to look flawless. We see events that don’t always happen in real life. Everything is SCRIPTED. Just because something happened a certain way on tv doesn’t mean it will in real life, because someone thought through and wrote that scenario, the complications and the consequences. It’s not the same as real life. Some aspects may be, but overall, it is all fantasy. People like movies and tv shows where they can go, “Yeah, I wish life was like that, or that I was like that.” (That’s not always true but I think a good portion of the time it is). It feeds curiosities and desires.

Okay, now it’s time to let me off the leash. Society and the media are either ignorantly or knowingly damaging us, especially kids. It is not “just” tv. Television and video games (in addition to parents and role models, if they have any good ones) are shaping the way kids see the world. All of that shows them what is acceptable behavior, expected behavior, consequences of behavior, etc. We, as adults, can handle some of the concepts and fantasy that is on television, because we understand my first section: It isn’t real; that’s not how people actually are; you wouldn’t ACTUALLY do those things. But kids don’t know that yet. They are being desensitized to drugs, sex and violence. They are getting comfortable with those concepts, and not seeing why it is bad, because no one on tv seems to think it is bad, and anyone who does isn’t “cool”. Consequences for all of that are not shown, and if they are, they are drowned out by everything else. This upcoming generation, especially, is more aggressive, more promiscuous and is less likely to see why drugs are bad. Everything influences kids. With most people indulging in the fantasy aspect of everything, kids are growing up thinking they should expect all that. That that’s reality, not fantasy. Society is feeding obsessions and addictions that need to be managed by the individual. Really, the parents should be doing their part to tell their kids the difference between right and wrong, as well as manners and respect for others.

*Deep breath* Now let’s reel me back in. This is what I’m talking about – about things upsetting me so much, and how it stresses me out. This is why I need to learn acceptance. Let’s try to turn that into a positive and make steps towards acceptance. The first thing that comes to mind is that I’m doing exactly what I’m complaining about. I’m looking at the media and deciding “everyone” is a certain way. What a hypocrite! I’m sure there are a lot of people out there with good wholesome values. Just because the people I’ve encountered and the media have portrayed a certain reality does not mean everyone is like that. You can’t judge all people by a small, biased sample. If I did that with everything, then I’d also have to assume that everyone in the world except for me likes Star Wars, Star Trek and Lord of the Rings (it feels that way a lot!) but I know that isn’t true. There are all sorts of people out there.

The next thing I can realize is that perhaps others have an inward sense of respect, manners, morals and other good traits, while they allow the media to show them a life they would never themselves take part in. While I still don’t agree with this, this is easier to deal with than assuming people condone all the actions and concepts depicted in movies, tv and other forms of media. They play into the fantasy aspect, while separating it from themselves and their own life. I can’t do that. If I hate something, I hate it. It doesn’t matter if it is “real” or not. The concept will upset me. What it implies will upset me. What everyone else thinks about it or accepts about it will upset me. However, if others can separate themselves from it, then good for them. Maybe that is something I can learn from. I don’t have to like or condone things – I don’t even have to watch it – but I do need to be able to separate it from me, such that it does not upset me. I guess, in that case, they’ve already learned acceptance. They can watch things they don’t agree with or are against without cringing and getting fired up.

You know what? I think one of my problems is that I’m in other peoples’ heads too much. You’ve heard “I’m in my head” – well I’m in the heads of others. While I’m great at guessing what people are thinking, and can finish people’s sentences and make them realize things about themselves, I cannot know everything in their head. So when I watch something I hate, and my head starts spitting out what I think everyone else who sees it is thinking, I’m not doing myself any favors. The media and some of my friends that parrot (or even started?) the voices in my head at these times are not everyone. For example, some guys (hopefully?) can watch a girl walk across a street without exclaiming, “Hot!” Maybe I’ve just been around some crummy people that have traumatized me into thinking everyone except me is a pervert, and therefore I assume everything and everyone is disgusting and hedonistic deep down. How much of the thoughts I have concerning all of that are true 100% of the time, and how much are only true for some people, and even then only part of the time? Maybe all the things I hate about society are really only traits that are present in those around me, and they are magnified by the problems of the media. Maybe. That’s quite a lot to ponder

I think I’ll stop there and reflect over the holidays. I’ll leave you with this: What beliefs do you have that may just be observations of a biased sample of people or experiences, as opposed to an overall truth? Can you open your mind to new truths and new realities?