Are People Who Have “Really Lived” Better Than Others?

I’ve read a few blogs and books that basically preach that you are better if you lived a wild and completely screwed up life prior to your spiritual transformation, “because you actually lived”. That ticks me off. The whole point of all of this is that everyone has their own problems and is on their own journey. And you know what - I choose to see love instead of this. I believe that really they are just trying to reach out to all those people who think they have screwed up beyond repair, and give them some hope. That’s all. They are not really saying that they are better than people like me – who lived their lives by the book and led a very mature and respectable life.

Everyone has their own issues they have to work through.

Everyone has unique problems, fears and negative projections that they have to conquer.

It feels so silly to be put down for being way ahead of the curve – to not need to screw up to learn certain lessons. I lived, too – I just “lived” in a different way. You (one of the people they are referring to) have taken your own sense of lack and tried to fill it with every crazy experience, feeling and mistake that you could, only to realize it was not outside of you. People like me try to fill that void from within, only to realize that it was never empty to begin with. I have my own problems, they are just different from those who led a crazy life, and honestly, I still have “Spiritual Arrogance” that I was always just a step ahead. My arrogance comes with plenty grains of salt, but I just feel like I have a lot of common sense and the problems and fears I have are on another level than those of others.

At the same time, I am JUST as messed up, just in VERY different ways. But I’m aware. I can completely see and figure out my own issues. It is not hard to see what work I need to do to change my perceptions. I can’t snap my fingers and be “fixed”, but I at least know what is going on, and I always have to a big extent. I feel like most people float around in life living based off of their fears, throwing themselves around, and they have no idea what is happening, where they are, what they are doing or how anything is affecting them. I feel like most people’s subconscious is completely locked away. I was always analyzing mine. I was always trying to figure out why I was the way I was; why others were the way they were. I was constantly knocking on the door on my subconscious, and because of the attention I gave it (and the guidance of great parents) I avoided some very desperate and unhealthy behavior.

The downside is that my issues run way deeper and are actually probably more serious. Having a deep hatred for yourself is never good. But at least I never ran around desperately begging for attention and outward feelings of pleasure to fill my void. Instead, I desperately tried to make myself feel worthy of love. I tried to be so perfect that I would feel good enough. All my desperation and begging was within myself.

Just different issues.

If you lived a wild and crazy life, that’s fine. That is your imperfection. Those are all your mistakes, and I’m sure you’ve had plenty of consequences – or you will. But by no means does having a certain set of imperfections make you better than someone else with different imperfections. I most certainly have “lived”. I can look myself in the mirror and respect myself for all the courageous and moral decisions I have made. I, personally, would not be able to look myself in the mirror if I had done any differently. Living a life of character is very much still a life “lived”.

No matter what imperfections you have, you are still made of Love, you are still worthy of Love, and you are still a special part of the Uni-verse and on your own miraculous journey to realize your full potential.