Saturday, March 22, 2014

Gaining Control Over Your Mind

Life is a lot more manageable and enjoyable when you finally figure out how much power your mind has over your life and your self-image. Even with some of my biggest fears, I am not at their mercy. I can feel the pain and panic, understand it, and know that, while it feels very real, it isn’t. I don’t have to feel that way.

While reading A Course in Miracles, I came up with a perspective that may help some people take control back from their thoughts and emotions – to help them stop identifying with them: When you feel anger, fear or anxiety rise up within you, those feelings are not in support of those thoughts. That is your body, your soul, REJECTING those thoughts. Your body is literally telling you, “No, I don’t like these thoughts. Stop having these thoughts.”

Sure, you can argue against it. But that’s not the point. That’s a great thought to have because it helps bring awareness to the malignant nature of those thoughts as they apply to us in modern society (aka we are not being attacked by bears, where those thoughts and fight-or-flight responses would be necessary).

Gaining control over your mind. That’s what it’s all about, because THAT is the only thing that is holding you back.

I’ve had some situations that would normally upset me that don’t anymore. I generally have a big issue with people telling me things I already know as if I don’t know them, or telling me doomsday scenarios about how life gets so much worse. In some cases, yeah, it still bugs the crap out of me. But I had some examples the other day where I did NOT feel like their comments and suggestions were trying to invalidate my own knowledge or beliefs; where I did NOT feel the need to get defensive, show my own knowledge, and in some cases, explain how they are wrong (or at least not right). I had a fleeting thought of how I normally would have gotten worked up, but I just chuckled a little and acknowledged what they were saying.

A big issue I’m facing right now is my war with weight. As far as weight itself, I’m now wise enough to know that many of the years I thought I had a problem, I did not. But now I do, and it is because I am terrified of failure. I eat fine, and I’ve followed all the typical advice, and I barely eat over 1000 calories a day. And when I was busting my butt exercising like mad and counting calories, for many months, and hardly saw any results, it crushed me. I couldn’t live like that forever, the exercise routine I had, and that was how I basically just MAINTAINED my weight? In my mind I’m like, I’m DOING everything right, and STILL nothing happens. Can you imagine the deep sense of failure and shame I felt? So I’ve been avoiding that. I’ve been living my normal life, just trying to live “healthy”, but setting a goal for losing weight gets my blood pressure up, because I can’t have a goal like that. I can’t. It hurts too much. I’m just setting myself up for failure, because IT DOESN’T WORK.

But now I have some doctors on my side. Now I have people looking into blood panels and things to figure out what my quirk is. I’m not alone in this now. And not only that, but I know I have to believe in myself and have the vision in order to get anywhere. No matter what, I will find a way. If the first way doesn’t work, then I’ll try another way. And I’ll keep trying. Because that’s how goals are accomplished. You try, you fail, you try again and then again until you succeed. And I CAN do it. So I’ve had an emotional week making the realization that I’m going back into weightloss mode. But I have the respect for my mind and body this time that I did not have before. You can’t abuse yourself into health, you have to nurture yourself into health.

Strength and bravery is another thing I’ve always wanted to master. I just saw the movie Divergent (which is AMAZING!), so that is very much on my mind. And I heard myself say in my mind, “I’m not brave.” But I know better now – I heard that and thought, “Well no, not as long as I tell myself I’m not!” That’s a situation where you cultivate your bravery. Find examples of when you ARE brave, and use those to push you harder. I’m not sure how you practice bravery, exactly… And I’m in the process of working on my body, so I’m going to be committed to the strength part, as well. But it won’t happen overnight. But I think I’m okay with that now. I think I have faith in my vision. Correction, I DO have faith in my vision.

On a side note, I feel like I am reaching a point where I understand my place in the timeline of humanity (and maybe even of the universe). I’m starting to realize that everything you read about in history books wasn’t all that long ago, truth be told. I feel like I can feel the oneness of everyone, and also feel the technological progression. I feel like I can see the big picture, instead of just my own life. Just some weird but inspiring concepts I’ve been toying around with in my spare time, so I thought I’d make a note of that.

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