Thursday, June 27, 2013

On-The-Spot Stress Leaks Old Habits



As much as we learn and grow, extreme situations can rewind us back to old habits we thought we’d broken. I’m hoping that the longer the good habits are in place, the less likely this is to happen. It somewhat happened today for me.

Let’s look at the positive first, shall we? I think we should all do that when faced with a situation where we know we could have done a little better. First let’s look at where we came from and how much progress we have made.

At the end of the day, an emergency debugging situation sprang up. I had to debug from a distance at first, which is just as helpful as all you developers out there would imagine. There was a time crunch, and I had to figure out what was wrong and fix it ASAP. Obviously, at first glance you don’t always know what’s wrong. Non-programmers will throw in their two-cents, but that is usually completely useless, because they don’t know how the code operates and is organized underneath. They don’t know what touches what and how. All they know are the very mundane, simple symptoms: “It doesn’t work.” We programmers have to know HOW it doesn’t work. Does it present an error message? A blank screen?

Enough about programming, and on to the personal growth.

As far as the level of stress I FELT, I handled it extremely well. I was considerably irritated, but I was not overwhelmed with stress, which is a HUGE improvement for me. Hooray!

However, as communication went back and forth while I was diagnosing the problem, I got caught. I had to talk before I’d been able to process what I’d just seen. My mindset was on, “What??! That’s odd, what did I just see?” And I just wanted to get back to it and track down what was going on. So I said a no-no. I was too focused on processing and solving the problem that I wasn’t paying enough attention to my word-smithing (sarcasm intended on the priorities here). If you’ve been following my posts at all, you know what type of no-no it was. I worded it in an “I don’t know” kind of way. I quickly jumped back into solving the problem. I did get talked to a little about my bad wording. Half an hour later I’d not only figured out the problem but completely resolved it. I’m completely capable of solving the problem – I just have to make sure, even in odd stressful situations like that, that I don’t present it in a way that makes people doubt my abilities. I think the context was safe enough here, and when I was reminded how I should word things differently I was extremely frustrated because YES I KNOW. But yeah, always gotta be on top of your game.

It’s funny, because amongst other developers, communicating and complaining about bugs like that is completely fine. I just got too comfortable. You have to always remember to put your politically-correct hat on at the right times. Drop what you are thinking and processing and work on the wording. It’s sad, really. But that’s how it is. I understand. I’ve BEEN working on that. I just didn’t care enough this time. I was too focused on the bug itself. But you have to be aware of your surroundings. Sigh.

Let’s get back to some positives. I did manage to declare my need for space and time to those it is appropriate to say that to. Sometimes I find myself acting extroverted in those cases, and that NEVER works out for me. Extroverts can think out loud and come to a solution. I can’t. I’ll just continue down the path I was on when I started speaking. If I shut up for a second, it all becomes clear, and I see where I need to go. By talking I’m just wasting time. Well – be careful, because that’s the attitude that got me in trouble!

Anyways, it’s all fine now. The whole mess was over a span of maybe one hour. But it was at the end of the day, so it left me in a really nasty mood. But it wasn’t the stress of the situation – it was the being called out on my wording. Because they were right, and I knew better, and it frustrated the hell out of me. And because I know I’ll probably get more of that lecture that I already know tomorrow.

But I can’t get defensive. I can’t roll my eyes. I have to just suck it up and take it. How I handle this says a whole lot more about my character. Rolling my eyes or disregarding the comment would make me look so bad and give the wrong impression. I do know, I do understand and I do care. Man-up and act like it.

It’s weird, when I started in the working world I was a complete robot. A smiling, yes-man robot. Somewhere along the way I started getting emotionally invested and having issues like this. What happened… That will change. I’m going to find the balance. I know what it is, I know what it looks like, and I’m going to make it happen. Just you watch.

Are there certain situations where you slip back into old habits? Do you know what you need to do to resolve it?

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