Learn How You Can Speak with Authority

I am awesome!

So I’ve talked about how I need to speak with authority and interject into conversations even when I feel like what I have to say isn’t necessary. I’ve been MASTERING that. I’ve been projecting my voice; I’ve been proposing ideas and debating work strategies. And people have been noticing.

You’ve seen my progress through this experience. This is one of the reasons I wanted to have a blog. You can see me each step of the way and see the baby steps it takes to reach a final result. Well, not “final”, but you know what I mean.

Here’s the advice I have on that: BE SELF-AWARE, AND BE CONFIDENT. For me, both were so necessary.

You know what I was doing before? I was aware, but for a long time I thought, “That’s just how I talk,” or, “It must be them – for some reason people talk over me and don’t hear me.” I was in a mindset where I was defending myself and lowering my expectations. I think this is a survival technique to protect your ego.

I was also under the assumption that I was operating the “correct” way, as far as not interjecting and wasting time and breath. I figured if I was on the same page, nothing needed to be said. I figured that was the same standard everyone else was operating under. I felt like everyone was annoyed when someone used different words to say the exact same thing, and I thought it was inappropriate and egotistical for someone to declare their opinions when they are not experts with the same authority as if they were experts.

Boy, was I wrong. I mean, sometimes that does happen. But that isn’t a 100% rule across the board. And just like anything, there is a delicate balance. And people may think that of the really extroverted people, but at the same time, if you say nothing… you are making yourself irrelevant. If you are smart, speak up. Even if it seems somewhat pointless, say it. But don’t timidly say it!!!! Soooo important. You announce it. Project your voice. Declare it. Do not say it timidly or softly. That’s what I’ve been mastering lately. If you speak timidly sometimes, speak as if the person is 50 feet away from you. Project your voice. Don’t shout desperately, just… project. Make sense?

So let’s circle back around. Here’s the trick. You can’t be hard on yourself. You can’t think of it as, “I fail. I’m doing something wrong. Something needs to be fixed in me.” You have to realize how freaking smart you are for noticing what’s wrong. Think of it as a puzzle. Think, “Hm. I see that people are talking over me. I see how other people respond to these other people who are speaking with authority. I’m going to figure out that trick and use it myself!” And then do it! Think of it as a puzzle or a game. And if it doesn’t work, regroup. Figure out what you think happened, and then try again. Gather feedback and then keep going until you master it. You CAN’T be hard on yourself. Then everything will come off as desperate or frustrated instead of confident and authoritative.

BE SELF-AWARE. See how people are responding to you. See how others act that gets the reaction you want. Figure out how you can apply that. Then, BE CONFIDENT. You are amazing! If you don’t act like other people can bring you down…. Then no one will get that vibe! No one CAN bring you down! Even if you say something wrong, who cares! Ask question to clarify. Laugh it off if it is that bad. It’s fine. You’re involved in the conversation. That’s what’s important. Stay confident and you can get through any misspeaking that occurred. Other than that, there is absolutely nothing you can fear. You just have to time it well if you are trying to sneak in your words with people who talk a lot.

My next tips are along those lines. First of all, position yourself such that you won’t be outside the main group if you want to say something. If you are positioned on the outskirts, and everyone else is talking, yeah, they won’t notice you! You can’t blame them for that. Second, wait for a spare second to speak, but then JUMP. Don’t hesitate! If you hesitate, it is too late. It’s like merging into traffic. Third, don’t straight-up interrupt people. Try to make sure they’ve exhausted their topic before you jump in. This one is sometimes tricky for me. I’ll always wait for a pause and then jump in, but if you do it in the middle of a thought, you’ll get acknowledged for half a second and they will go right back into it, because honestly, you were rude and they weren’t finished yet. That timing is so important. Probably something you’ll have to screw up a couple times before you get it, if you are anything like me.

This doesn’t just go for speaking with authority, obviously. This goes for anything, really. Be self-aware and be confident. With those two tools in your tool belt, you really can’t go wrong.

How can you use self-awareness and confidence to improve your life?