Baggage

How much of your fears, habits and beliefs stem solely from a single traumatizing event, or a few similar events? 

Especially in our younger years, a lot of minor things can traumatize us and change the way we live and interact with others. Over the years I’ve realized that about a lot of different things for me. One of which is probably how I’m generally friends with guys, and not girls. I think possibly a few bad experiences with girls, and a couple good experiences with guys, pushed me in the direction of trusting guys to be my friend and girls to reject me or backstab. And everything from that point on would be interpreted to fit into that framework, whether it should or not. That might be why, today, I connect and relate more with guys - because I grew up aligning myself with guys. I ended up as somewhat of a tomboy, and I hate girlie things with a passion. I may be over-analyzing, but I mean, it isn’t a completely out-there concept. I’m not sure how much I can do about it now, though. It’s already shaped my life, influenced my interests and habits, and it is now hard for me to relate to girls. However, making the realization about this baggage may help me to remove unnecessary roadblocks that keep me from interacting with girls I could actually get along with, if it wasn’t for my prejudice. I’m filtering out people for stupid reasons who could be exactly the kinds of people I want to surround myself with, and therefore making it easier for others that maybe I shouldn’t surround myself with to slip in, simply because they have an edge at the hand of my baggage. That’s a horrible way to live. You have to let things go, and realize that everyone is their own person. Do not project the sins of others onto those in front of you. You wouldn’t want someone to do that to you, because it isn’t fair. The same goes for them.

Are there situations from your past that influence how you see people? How can you work towards giving everyone a fair chance to show you who they are?